Mail internet Jokes

You know you’re addicted to the Internet when…

You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed. You name your children “Eudora,” “AOL” and “Dotcom”. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your CHILD in the overhead compartment. You decide to stay in college for…

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Read JokeYou know you’re addicted to the Internet when…

Youve got mail

A blonde walks outside opens her mailbox, slams it shut, and storms back inside mad. The guy next door can’t figure out what that was all about. Five minutes later she does the same thing and the guy still can’t get it so he goes outside to wait for a third time. Three minutes later she does it again and the guy asks her, “Why do you keep running out here opening your mailbox and then storm back in?” The…

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Read JokeYouve got mail

It must be true, I read it on the internet

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…

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Read JokeIt must be true, I read it on the internet

Axioms for the Internet Age

1. Home is where you hang your @ 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. C:\is the root of all directories. 8. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page. 9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.…

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Read JokeAxioms for the Internet Age

Christmas in the Internet Age

At a popular department store, as a little eight-year old girl positions herself comfortably on his lap, the department store Santa Claus asks the usual, “And what would you like to have this Christmas?” The girl stares at Santa Claus with a wide-eyed and shocked expression and asks in an anguished voice, “Didn’t you get my e-mail yesterday morning?”

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Read JokeChristmas in the Internet Age

How to respond to e-mail ads….

You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…

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Read JokeHow to respond to e-mail ads….

ALERT! The Work Virus

There is a new virus going around, called “work.” If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via e-mail, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague…DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work,” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter “work” via e-mail or are…

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Read JokeALERT! The Work Virus

Virus Warning

This virus warning is genuine. There is a new virus going around, called “work.” If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague…DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter…

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Read JokeVirus Warning

You may be a net addict if…

1.)Your dog has his own webpage… 2.)You refer to your friends by their internet names instead of their real ones… 3.)Half of your friends you’ve never met in person…. 4.)You use abbreviations like LOL and SMP in normal conversation… 5.)Your real mail box hasn’t been open months while you check you e-mail once every 15 minutes… 6.)The computer chair has the imprint of your butt in it… 7.)Due to your eyes being constantly bloodshot, others you know think you have…

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Read JokeYou may be a net addict if…