Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man, visiting a small town located by a railway track, was amazed at the high birth rate there. “A train goes past the town at 4:30 a.m.,” a local barber explained. “What’s that got to do with it?” asked the man. “Well, at that time, it’s too early to get up, but too late to go back to sleep.”
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Last time the circus came to town, only two applicants answered an ad in the local paper for an animal trainer. The owner decided to audition the male and female applicants. At first glance, it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she was wearing a very long, flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man’s only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and…
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There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo! A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied,…
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I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness… This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. Subject: “Mouse Balls” Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to…
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A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submittals. 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. 3. E-mail is not to be…
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Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life managers. Here are the Top 12 finalists: 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.) 2. What I need is a list of…
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…
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The Indian tour guide is explaining the re-enactment of an ancient Indian courting ritual. As they watch, an Indian brave approaches the mouth of a small cave, cups his hands to his mouth and calls out: “Ha-woo, ha-woo?” From the back of the cave comes a faint answering, feminine “Ha-woo! Ha-woo!” The Indian brave strips off his clothing and runs into the cave. A Pollock in the tour group gets an idea. He sneaks away, finds the biggest cave he…
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