Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One Sunday at church, as little Johnny was leaving, the preacher heard him say a curse word. The preacher stopped him and said “Son, every time I hear you say a curse word, it sends chills down my spine.” “Well,” Little Johnny replied, “If you had been at my house yesterday when daddy slammed his finger in the door, you would be frozen!”
(2)
Loading...
(This joke is very visual) One day a young boy was walking to school. He cut through an alley where he met a hooker. “Hello little boy.” said the hooker as she waved her pinky finger at him. ‘What’s up with the pinky?’ thought the boy. After school the boy went back through the alley and the hooker was back again. “Hello little boy,” she said and waved at him with her pinky finger. ‘Again with the pinky, what’s up…
(1)Loading...
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the checkout counter, where she told the checkout girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you…
(0)Loading...
a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…
(4)Loading...
Q: Why did Dorothy Gale name her little dog, “Toto”? A: Because “Finger-Finger,” “Wrist-Wrist,” “Hand-Hand,” and “Leg-Leg” were already taken.
(0)Loading...
I think Santa Claus is a woman…. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It’s as if they are all frozen in some kind of ebenezerian Time…
(1)Loading...
A young child was constantly picked on by an older one, who would make him cry. His Mother told him, “The next time he bullies you, hit him as hard as you can!” The younger boy saw the bully in the park the next day, snuck up behind him and hit him in the back of the head, super hard, knocking the bully out cold. The little kid went home and bragged to his Mother about his success. His Mother…
(0)Loading...
Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…
(1)Loading...
You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When… You ski uphill. You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you. You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. You lick your coffee pot clean. You spend your vacations visiting “Maxwell House”. Your eyes…
(2)Loading...
1. When you’re playing the piano, you frequently lose your grip on the bow. 2. You go to bed and accidentally fluff up your head. 3. You’re absolutely convinced nostalgia is a thing of the past. 4. You go to bed and purposely fluff up your head. 5. You purchase season tickets to the Super Bowl. 6. You have trouble picking your shadow out of a crowd. 7. You’ve caught yourself waving “Goodbye” instead of “Hello” when answering the telephone.…
(0)Loading...