Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Pope died and went to Heaven and was met by St. Peter. St. Peter greeted him warmly and said, “Sir you have been such a good servant, We would like to offer you anything you want too make you feel at home”. The Pope said, “I have always thought I would like to drive through Heaven in a long white limousine”. St. Pete said, “I’m sorry, that’s the one thing that we can’t grant”. The Pope said, “I understand”…
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A cardiologist came up with a new operating procedure that would cut down the time that heart surgery would take and would cause less trauma to the patient. He was praised by his peers when he presented it at a convention in Washington D.C. He was also paid $50,000 to present his find. He did a couple more of these presentations and realized that it would be more lucrative to do lectures on his find than to work as a…
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The eighty-eight-year-old millionaire married an eighteen-year- old country girl. He was quite content, but after a few weeks she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn’t get some loving real soon. He had his chauffeured limousine take him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave him a shot of spermatozoa. “Now look,” the doctor said, “the only way you’re going to get it up is to say “beep,” and then to get…
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There was this girl who needed a date to her prom, so she asked her brother to go with her. He refused, and so she said, “Well everyone else is doing it,” and so he then agreed. At the Prom, the girl asked her brother to dance. Again, he refused and she said,”Well, everyone else is doing it,” so he then agreed. As they were dancing, she looked around and saw everyone french kissing. So she asked her brother to…
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One hot day,two roadworkers are laying asphalt on a back country road when a United Nations limousine pulls up next to them,and an official-looking man gets out. He looks at both men and asks, “Parlez-vous francais?” The two men just look at him confused. He then asks, “Usted habla espanol?” Again,they just stare at him. “Sprechen Sie deutsch?”, he asks. No answer. “Parlate italiano?” Still, no reply. Disgusted,the man gets back into the limo,and it quickly drives away. One worker…
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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking: Sadie: “That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before an answer I give him.” Yetta: “Vell,…I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment, punctual like a clock. And like such a mench, he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then…
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After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs. He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key. He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique.…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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