Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything. The guy says, “How old are you?” Johnny says, “Six.” The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?” Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.” The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?” Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”
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She found that at her age, going braless pulled all the wrinkles out of her face. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need to go on that trip. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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There’s quite an art to falling apart as the years go by, And life doesn’t begin at 40. That’s a big fat lie. My hair’s getting thinner, my body is not; The few teeth I have are beginning to rot. I smell of Vick’s-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel #5; My new pacemaker’s all that keeps me alive. When asked of my past, every detail I’ll know, But what was I doing 10 minutes ago? Well, you get the idea, what more can…
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1) Clinton: We forgive you . . . Now Resign 2) Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat 3) Jail to the Chief 4) If his private life doesn’t matter, let him date your daughter. 5) Clinton: Our Nation’s Fondling Father
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A married couple, trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle, went to this party. The conversation turned to Mozart. “Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!” The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, “Ah, Mozart. You’re so right. I love him. Only this morning, I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island.” There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, “We’re…
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Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Patti, called the insurance company. Patti spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa, there, just a minute! Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.” There was a long pause, and then Patti replied, “If…
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Colorful descriptions for the intellectually challenged: A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a pod. Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in…
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