Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy decides to leave the city and become a farmer, so he sold all his possesions and bought a farm. Upon arriving he thought he would need a few animals, so on foot he takes out walking and comes upon a sign that says chickens for sale, so he goes and talks to the farmer. “Well, son, around here, we call them pullets.” So he says, “Give me one.” He goes on until he sees a sign that says…
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Two old guys are sitting on a porch watching a dog lick his balls. First guy sees this and admires the dog and says, “I sure wish I could do that!” And the other guy turns to him and says, “Don’t you think you should pet him first!?”
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How do French girls hold their ‘liquor’?! By the ears!!
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A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to raise chickens. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, “Give me 100 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies. A week later, the man returns and says, “Give me 200 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies. Again, a week later, the man returns. This time he says, “Give me 500 baby chickens.” “Wow!” the co-op man replies. “You must really be doing well!” “Naw,” said the…
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SOUTHERN SAYINGS….. 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” 2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” 3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” 4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.’” 5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” 6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” 7. “My cow died last night so I don’t…
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Three ladies are sitting in a bar and they decide to give their husbands nicknames. They decide to name them after drinks. The first lady says, “I am going to name my husband 7up because he is 7 inches and always up.” The second lady says, “I am going to name my husband Mountain Dew because he is always mountin’ the dew.” The third lady says, “I am going to name mine Jack Daniels because he is a hard licker.”
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What is the difference between a drunken sailor and Monica Lewinsky? One is a seaman who can’t hold his liquor the other is a licker who can’t hold her semen.
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A ventriloquist was driving through the country one day when his car broke down. He walked for a few miles and ended up at a farm. The farmer was very helpful, and called AAA. While the ventriloquist was waiting for AAA, he decided to have a little fun. “Nice horses”, he said to the farmer, “Can I talk to them?” The farmer said, “You city slicker! Them horses don’t talk!”. The ventriloquist said, “Let me try anyway. Hi horses! How…
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Exclamations: “Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!” “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” “Ahm fixin ta do that” Threats: “I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.” “This’ll jar your preserves.” “Don’t you be makin’ me open up uh can uh whup-ass on ya!” Good Things/Compliments: “Cute as a sack full of puppies” “If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoyit.” “Gooder’n grits” The Weather:…
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During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at…
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