Kisses Jokes

Royce, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. “Hey, lady,” yells Royce, “Throw me the cat.” “No,” she cries, “It’s too far.” “I play football, I can catch him.” The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Royce, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street. Royce…

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There’s this guy who is in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So, he’s shopping around, answering ads in thenewspaper, not having much luck. One day, he comes across a bike for sale in a yard. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition and inquires about it with the owner. “This bike is beautiful!” He says. “I’ll take it! But how did you keep it in such great shape?”…

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(Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: My, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes, it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named “Picasso.” I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90’s audience, because they know these priceless paintings will sink with the boat. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to…

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Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year, This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass, I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak, And wear all black for the rest of the week, Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade, For…

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