Job Interview
Manager, interviewing a job applicant: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.” Job Applicant: “Well Sir, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!”
(1)
Loading...
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Job applicant Jokes
Technology Organizational Chart
In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a nearly impossible task. Some folks are called Analysts. Some are called Programmers. Some are called Engineers. None of them has window offices. A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six of these positions . . . usually all at the same time. 10. Programmer: This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field. Manages no one. Answers to everyone. Approximately 50% of…
(0)Loading...
Balkan Mix-up
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, the manager described the job applicant to her boss as rather monosyllabic. Her boss said, “Really? Where is Monosyllabia?” Thinking that her boss was just kidding, the manager played along and said, “It is just south of Elbonia.” His face lighting up, her boss said, “Oh, you mean over by Croatia.”
(0)Loading...
Snappy Replies
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help. Job Applicant: That’s all right.…
(1)Loading...
Attorney
Job Applicant: “I’m looking for a job as a consultant.” Employer: “I’m sorry, we already have enough cosultants.” Applicant: “That’s ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.” Employer: “More than we can use already.” Applicant: As he is getting desperate, “I’m not proud, I can do paperwork, I’ll be a clerk, If you have too many, I’ll start as a janitor.” Employer: “It just doesn’t seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications.” Applicant:…
(0)Loading...
How to screw up an interview
We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t fidget. Don’t interrupt. Don’t belch. If we did any of the don’ts, we knew we’d disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for tories of unusual behavior by job applicants. ************************************** The lowlights: ************** 1. “… stretched out…
(0)Loading...
A Guide to ‘Help Wanted’ Ads
Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo: “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition. “Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you. “Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “Some overtime required” Some every night and some every weekend. “Duties will vary”…
(1)Loading...
Wrong Train of Thought?
Thinking “outside the box” may have its advantages, but consider this situation. A game chap is applying for a job as a flagman/switch operator on the railroad. “What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?” the chief engineer asks him. “Well,” says the applicant, “I’d call my brother.” “Why would you call your brother?” “He’s never seen a train wreck before.”
(0)Loading...
The Honest Lawyer (FICTION)
An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers. “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?” “Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you…
(0)Loading...
Position Available Immediately…
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would enjoy galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Masters planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of…
(0)Loading...