Jews Jokes

Chinese Jews

Rabbi Cohen and Rabbi Goldstein were having dinner at a Chinese restaurant. After dinner while they were having dessert, Rabbi Cohen wondered aloud, “I’ve been thinking this while we’re having dinner and I can’t get it off my mind.” “Well, what’s on your mind?” asked Rabbi Goldstein. “Well, I’ve been thinking if there are any Jews living in China these days,” said Rabbi Cohen. “Why don’t you ask the waiter over there?” asked Rabbi Goldstein as he waved for the…

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Always Two Jews!!!

A jokester, stifling a laugh, said, “Listen to this: One day Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to—” At this, Mr. Cohen, who happened to be among the audience, said, “Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change? The jokester, sobered and rather embarrassed, said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke:…

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Rent a room

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. “Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.” “I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. “What luck,” said…

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Kosher Jokes

1) What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? “Is ANYTHING all right?” 2) Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner. 3) How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? (Sigh) Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark, I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody. 4) Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to Sam’s car,…

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What’s The Matter With You Kids?

During World War II, Private Goldstein was anxious to get married before going overseas, but he was stationed in a small town in South Carolina and couldn’t get a furlough. His fiancee, Becky, was perfectly willing to come to South Carolina, and did so; but once there, a difficult problem arose. Becky was a pious girl and insisted on being married by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. In the small town where Goldstein was stationed, however, there were no Jews, let…

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Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you each one wish, that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie. The Canadian says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.” With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’…

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Racial Discrimination

An atheist complained to a friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays, too. EVERY religion has it holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized national holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.” His friend replied, “Well,…Why don’t you celebrate April 1?”

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