Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon, Dr. Michael DeBakey, standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, one of those loud mouths, shouted across the garage, “Hey, DeBakey…Is dat you? Come over here a minute.” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, so all could hear, said argumentatively, “So, Mr.…
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A cardiologist came up with a new operating procedure that would cut down the time that heart surgery would take and would cause less trauma to the patient. He was praised by his peers when he presented it at a convention in Washington D.C. He was also paid $50,000 to present his find. He did a couple more of these presentations and realized that it would be more lucrative to do lectures on his find than to work as a…
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Four surgeons were sitting around a table, talking about which type of people they like to operate on. “I like to operate on librarians,” says the first one. “When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order.” “I like to operate on accountants,” said the second one. “When you open them up, they are in numerical order.” “I like to operate on engineers.” said the third one. “They will understand if you end up with some extra parts.” The…
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Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering–have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question….” “Yes, Beck, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right. Yes, 3 times…” “Three? Well, when were they?” he asked. “Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old, and you really wanted to start that business on…
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A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne. A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” “Well,” she replied, “since you ask, to tell you the truth I have been unfaithful on three occasions.” “What? How could you?” “Let me tell you about it,” she said. “The first time was back when…
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Three surgeons were at lunch one day having a conversation about what they liked the most about operating. The first surgeon said: “I like operating on accountants because their insides are numbered.” The second surgeon said: “I enjoy operating on librarians because their insides are in alphabetical order.” The third doctor said: “I really love to operate lawyers becasue they are spineless, heartless, gutless, and best of all, their heads and asses are interchangeable.”
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1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines. 2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,” 3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,” 4. Exam room has a tip jar. 5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?” 7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 8. “Take two leeches and…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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