Hanging on the wall Jokes

A man, A woman, and a watermelon

There is this man sitting a the bar when the most beautiful woman he has ever seen walk in. So he pops two tic-tac and walks over to her. “Lets cut the small talk, so your place or mine?” he says She looks at him and replies “Mine.” So he gets into his car and she gets into her car and the go over to her place. When they get up to her apartment he walks in and sees all…

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Read JokeA man, A woman, and a watermelon

Make That To Go!

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads : Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.50 Hand Job $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the…

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Forever punishment….

Bill Clinton went to sleep at his desk one afternoon and had a strange dream. In the dream, he died and went to hell. When he gets there, Satan greets him and tells him that he will be there for all eternity, but, because of the way he behaved on earth while living, he gets to choose the type of punishment he will receive. Satan escorts him around and they come to a room where Newt Gingrich is stretched out…

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Read JokeForever punishment….

What do you call…

What do you call a man hanging on a wall? Art What do you call a woman with only one leg? Eileen What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Russell What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? Sparky

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I Like Monkeys

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…

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Read JokeI Like Monkeys