Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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Why It’s GREAT To Be A Guy Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Foreplay is optional. You…
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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go back to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist.” The guy, surprised, says, “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy…you keep washing your hands.” One thing…
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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A couple were sitting in their house one night contemplating whether or not to go to a Holloween Costume Party they’d been invited too. The wife says, “You go on honey. I’ve got a great big headache and I don’t feel like going anyway.” The husband consented and he went to the party. About an hour later the wife feels better and her headache is gone. She decides, “What the hell. I’ll go to the party and fool my husband…
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THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look…
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O’Brien meets the usual crowd of guys at Flanigan’s, the local pub. “Listen,” he says, “I just heard that new bar, ‘Shenanigans’ has a great deal for new customers… For five bucks, they give you a pitcher of beer and then they take in back and get you laid.” “Sounds like bullshit,” says one of the guys. “Who told you about this deal?” “My sister.”
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This guy staggers home drunk one night. His wife is still up so he starts telling her about this great bar he was at. He said, “Wow honey, it was great! Everything was gold! Ya wouldn’t believe it. They had gold plates, gold mugs, gold disco balls, everything was gold! They even had gold urinals!” His wife said, “Yeah, sure honey. Why don’t you just sleep it off?” So the guy passes out. The next morning, the wife is curious…
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A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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