Grandpa bill Jokes

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk. “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly, leaning forward to receive his “payment.” The girl snapped up the…

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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…

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In the future, a young man fresh out of college asked his rich neighbor, “How did you ever make so much money?” The man looked at his worn hands and said, “It was hard, hard work, my boy, and I’ll tell you my secrets. Once, I found a nickel on the ground. I took that little nickel and bought with it one red apple. I spent my whole day polishing that one apple and at the end of the day…

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