Golfing Jokes - page 2

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar, but he didn’t have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. “I sure do,” he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12-inch Bic lighter. “Wow!” said his friend, “where did you get that monster?” “I got it from my genie.” “You have a genie?” he asked. “Yes, he’s right here in my golf bag.” “Could I see him?” He opens…

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Four work buddies were out golfing at the 11th hole one of them says, “Play on … I have to go to the bathroom”, so they play on and get to talking about their sons. The first guy says, “I am really proud of my son. He is doing so well, he bought his friend a new car.” The second man boasts, “My son is doing so well that he just bought his friend a 24′ boat.” The third guy…

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Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole, the following conversation takes place. First Guy: “You guys have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing today. I had to promise my wife that I’d build her a new deck for the pool.” Second Guy: “You’re lucky. I had to promise my wife that I’d paint every room in the house next weekend.” Third Guy: “You guys have it easy. I had to…

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Four men went golfing together one day; the three men started for the first tee while the other went to pay his bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home – for free!” The second man said “My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that…

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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn?t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one. ?I sure do,? he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter. ?Wow!? said his friend, ?where did you get that monster?? ?I got it from my genie.? ?You have a genie?? he asked ?Yes, he?s right here in my golf bag.? He opens his golf bag and…

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A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent…

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A man and his wife took a golfing trip up to Minnosota. Neither of them did very good so they decided to go to golf lessons. The guy went first. The instrunctor told him to grip the clubs like he holds his wifes breasts. He swings and hits the ball 285 yards down the fairway. Then its the womans turn. The instructor tells her to hold the club like she holds her husbands penis. So she swings and hits the…

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A wealthy businessman, who was a notorious cheater when playing his beloved sport of golf, died and went straight to Hell. When he got to Hell, he was surprised to find himself on a golf course with well-manicured greens and the weather so perfectly cool and clear that it did not seem like Hell at all. At the first tee, he was greeted by Satan himself who gave him a complete set of golf clubs made of gold in a…

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