Going home Jokes

Going Home Early

A Jew, an Italian, and a Polack all worked together at the same company. All three gentlemen knew each other well and spent much time talking at work. They began noticing that their boss was leaving work early every day. After a while, the three men became irritated that the boss was leaving early while they had to stay a full eight hours. One morning in the break room, they conspired together that if the boss left early again that…

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Read JokeGoing Home Early

Easy Way Of Writing Home

Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…

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Read JokeEasy Way Of Writing Home

Letter from home

Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first…

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Read JokeLetter from home

Homeless Ransacker

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…

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Read JokeHomeless Ransacker

Congratulations

A young couple has been married five years but Debbie has been unable to get pregnant. Then, having missed her menstrual period for a second consecutive month, she visits her doctor who examines her and gives her the good news. “Congratualtions, Debbie,” he smiles, “You’re going to have a baby.” On the bus going home, Debbie is so happy that she is bursting to tell somebody. She glances at the friendly-looking man sitting beside her and says “Excuse me, sir,…

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Read JokeCongratulations

ACCIDENT

Fred was a tired, overworked traveling salesman who’d been making sales calls all day and hadn’t even stopped for lunch. At about four o’clock he pulled into the crowded parking lot of a large plaza, thinking he could get a bite in the food court. He circled around several times looking for a parking space when he finally spied one close to the entrance. He was carefully backing in when a young guy driving a Porche, who obviously saw Fred,…

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Read JokeACCIDENT

man in a bar

One day a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders two shots of scotch. He drinks the shots pulls a picture out of his pocket and says, “Bar tender, two more shots please!” He drinks the shots and again pulls the picture out of his pocket. “Bar tender, two more shots please!” The Bar tender asks him, “Why do you keep ordering two shots and then look at the picture in your pocket?” “The picture is of my…

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Read Jokeman in a bar

Harold and Bonnie’s Honeymoon

A sailor and his bride arrived at the honeymoon suite of their hotel. The bride had not ‘gone all the way’ before and was very nervous. Her mother had told her it would be very painful, but that it was her wifely duty. “Just make the best of it, as I’ve always had to,” she said. The young sailor showed her things the bride had never been ‘warned about’ by her mother which the young wife bravely agreed to but…

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Read JokeHarold and Bonnie’s Honeymoon

Wife Gets Even

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for…

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Read JokeWife Gets Even

Taking it with you

This old guy named Joe invested in Microsoft stock in the early eighties and just died a wealthy man. He had no family, so his business associates were at the reading of his will, where it was learned that the old man wanted to be buried with most of his money. His banker, pastor, and lawyer were each given envelopes with $500,000 cash with the instructions to deposit the money in the casket at the funeral. Three days later at…

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Read JokeTaking it with you