Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day a blonde was scratching her boyfriend’s car with a ruler. He came out and told her that rulers are used for measuring how long things are. Not for scratching cars. In the morning he went to wake her for breakfast and had noticed that the ruler was under the bed. He said to her, ” I thought I told you your’re suppose to use a ruler for measuring how long things are.” She replied, ” I know, I…
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1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. 2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? 3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head? 4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won’t cash my welfare check! 5. We’re going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. 6. Those home pregnancy kits aren’t very reliable in my opinion.…
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Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day. When she’s in a good mood it turns green. When she’s in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead.
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What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipe and flush
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At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be. “I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend. An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”
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An optometrist operates on a hippie painter’s girlfriend and saves her eyesight. The hippie painter is so grateful that he goes to the doctor’s house one day, while the doctor has office hours, goes inside and paints a huge eye on an entire wall of the living room, leaving the fireplace as the pupil of the eye. He’s just finishing up when the doctor walks in. He says to the doctor, “Well, do you like it man?” The doctor says,…
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One fellow walks up to another and says “Say, how are you doing?” The other chap says “Geez, I’m really tired”. The other man says, “Really, how come?” “Well, my girlfriend and I agreed that we won’t go to bed angry at each other”. The other chap says “so?” “…I’ve been up since Tuesday”….”
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A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game. “I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”
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A man and his girlfriend are driving down the highway. The man asks “If I drive 100 mph will you take off your clothes?” and she agrees. So the man drives 100 mph and his girlfriend strips. The man is so busy looking at his girlfriend that he crashes into a tree. The car flipped over, trapping the man and all of his girlfriend’s clothes. All that is free of the car is the girlfriend and one of his shoes.…
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A really good-looking girl was giving a man a manicure in the barber shop. “How about a date when you finish work?” he asked. “I can’t” she replied, “I am married.” “So call up you husband and tell him you’re going to visit a sick girlfriend,” said the man. “Why don’t you tell him yourself?” said the girl, “he’s the one shaving you.”
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