Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Stop fingering me. 4. I’m sorry. 5. Who circumcised you? 6. Why don’t we just cuddle? 7. You know they have surgery to fix that. 8. It’s more fun to look at. 9. Make it dance. 10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 11. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 12. It looks like a nightcrawler. 13. Wow, and your feet are so…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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Yo mama so fat, her cereal boal comes with a lifeguard. Yo mama so fat, her picture takes two frames. Yo mama so fat, when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years! Yo mama so fat, whether she lays down or stands up her height is the same! Yo mama so fat, when she hauls ass she needs volunteers! Yo mama so fat, if ya yell “KOOL AID” she comes crashing through the…
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Rejected Dr. Suess Books- 1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. The Cat in the Blender 11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out! 12. Are You My Proctologist? 13. Yentl the Lentil…
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A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly across the street from a house of ill repute. They witnessed a Protestant Minister lurking about, then ducking into the house. “Would ye look at that, Darby!” said Pat. “What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant Reverends sinnin’ in a house the likes of that place!” They both shook their heads and continued working. A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously and then darted…
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Your mama is so fat: :When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. :When she dances she makes the band skip. :When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. :She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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If a man is bald in front, he’s a thinker. If he’s bald in back, he’s a lover. If he’s bald in front and back, he THINKS he’s a lover. “Papa, are you growing taller all the time?” “No, my child. Why do you ask?” “‘Cause the top of your head is poking up through your hair.” He’s not baldheaded…he just has flesh-colored hair. It’s not that he’s baldheaded…he just has a tall face. He has wavy hair…it’s waving goodbye.
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A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along, the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rearview mirror. She says, “What is it, my son?” The cabbie replies, “Oh, I’m too embarrassed to say, sister.” She says,”Please, feel free to say anything. I’ve been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise me anymore. The cabbie says, “Well, I’ve always had this overwhelming fantasy to get…
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