Fishing rod Jokes

68 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…

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Gone Fishin’

A bellhop at a really nice resort takes a young couple up to the bridal suite, and drops off all their luggage. A short while later, he sees the groom heading out of the lobby, wearing waders and carrying a fishing rod and a tackle box. He is a little puzzled, so he goes over to the groom and says, “Excuse me sir, but shouldn’t you be upstairs making love to your wife?” The groom replies, “Well, I would, but…

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Genie

This young man was going golfing one day, but he wasn’t very good. He had been hitting the ball in the rough, the water, and soon a sand trap. By the time he hit the sand trap he was very annoyed. So he stood there swinging at the ball but missing and in the process digging a hole. Soon he hit something hard (not the golf ball). He bent over and dug it up to see what it was. When…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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True Tales

Two Michigan robbers charged into a Detroit music store, waving their guns. “Nobody moves!” one of the robbers ordered. The second robber then moved – and the first shot him in the head. A Turkish farmer was taken to the hospital with severe stomach pains. The doctor then discovered that he had ingested pesticide. The Doctor however noticed that it was in too small an amount to be suicidal. So he asked the Farmer why he did so. The farmer…

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The fishin’ hole

George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…

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The American Plan

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while, Senor”. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican fisherman replied that he…

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Acme Computerized Crystal Ball

A representative of the Acme Company was making a product presentation of the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball to an executive of a top marketing firm. The Acme representative was bragging that the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball could answer any questions about a person’s past, present and even future. Such claims, however, made the marketing executive very skeptical. Seeing the bored expression of the skeptical marketing executive, the Acme representative then requested the executive to try the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball.…

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Tech Support for Wives

Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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