First bj Jokes - page 3

cojones

A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. “What’s this?” he asks. “Cojones, senor,” the waiter replies. “What are cojones?” the man asks. “Cojones,” the waiter explains, “are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon.” At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to…

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Fuckhauer

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny, tell me your REAL name!”. The kid said “No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask…

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Forget the Ark!

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark.” And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and…

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The Occupational Explanation

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…

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Funny E-mail Addresses

When creating email addresses, many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and middle initial to either the beginning or end. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may occur when there is a large and diverse pool of accounts. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN…

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Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

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32 Fun Things To Do In Class

1. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points. 2. Sit in the front and color in your textbook. 3. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”. 4. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder. 5. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of the lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask if he was ever in an episode…

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writings on the cave wall

A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum…

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Archeology

A team of archaeologists were working when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists…

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