Firewood Jokes

The phone rings at DEA headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this DEA?” “Yes. What can we do for you?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood.” “This will be noted.” Next day, the DEA comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. “Hey, Tom! Did the DEA come?” “Yeah!”…

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The phone rings at KGB headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this KGB?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds inside his firewood.” “This will be noted,” said the KGB operative. The next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.…

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10. Her sweatshirts all say “PineSol Just Do it” 9.Kitchen utensils used by Mayo Clinic 8.When you walk through house she follows you like member of Olympic Curling Team 7. Likes to wear same outfit worn by Dustin Hoffman in “Outbreak” 6. Bathroom mirror could be used as lens in Hubble Space Telescope 5. Uses broomsticks for firewood 4. dog’s name is “Ajax” 3. Guest room is used Apollo astronaut quarantine chamber 2. Garage is car wash And the number…

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