Few minutes Jokes - page 2

The 3 Little Pigs….updated

Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig. One day, this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig’s house and said, “I’m gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down.” So he did! The straw pig went running over to the stick pig’s house and said “Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!” So the stick pig let the straw pig in.…

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Read JokeThe 3 Little Pigs….updated

Hold it!

This 92 year old man has been getting along by himself for years in his own house when he starts to become forgetful and begins to experience a few problems. His daughter suggests that maybe it’s time he goes into a home for the elderly. The old man reluctantly agrees, but recognizes that he might actually enjoy being around other people who probably share some of his interests, etc. So the daughter makes the arrangements, gets her father to the…

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Traveling Companion

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little air sick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is just sitting there,…

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Stand By Me

A very busy corporate lawyer was called out of an important meeting to the bedside of an extremely wealthy widow who was one of the firm’s most prestigious clients. She was also well-known for her devoted Christian faith. The lawyer was ushered into the bedroom of the widow and asked, “What can I do for you, Mrs. Warbucks?” “Just come and stand beside my bed,” she said while lying in bed. The lawyer did as he was told. A few…

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When you’re REALLY drunk

A man walks into the front door of a tavern, obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, belches, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink and could not be served additional alcohol at this bar, and would he like a cab to be called for him. The drunk is briefly surprised, then quietly grumbles as he gets…

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Advice for Employers Regarding Women Employees

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II – a mere 54 years ago! Obviously, the intent was not to be “funny,” but by today’s standards, this is hilarious! For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8. ———————————— Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether…

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Who’s the Moron?

One day a man named Olaf walks into the office of a headhunter and says, “I WON A DOB!” The headhunter looks up over the top of his glasses and says, “Excuse me?” Once again the man says, “I WON A DOB!” “Oh,” the headhunter says. “You want a job, I see…what is it you do?” The man says, “I’m a Diesel Fitter.” With this the headhunter turns on his laptop and types vigorously to search his computer files in…

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Proper Attire Required

A guy goes into a nightclub wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn?t have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets…

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Rolling…

A man is in a grocery store, just strolling around. And after a few minutes a clerk sees him and goes to ask if he can give him any assistance. The man replies, “No thanks, I’m just here to buy some tampons for my wife…” So the clerk leaves him alone and returns to his till. A while later the same man walks up to the till carrying a big bag of cotton, and some string. So the clerk asks,…

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the convertible

A blonde, a brunette, and a black man were driving in a convertible. As they drove on a narrow road, a semi broadsided them and their car plunged off a cliff into the lake. Unharmed, the brunette and black man swam to the surface. They couldn’t find the blonde anywhere! A few minutes later, the blonde finally came to the surface. “Where were you?” they asked. The blonde replied, “I couldn’t get the door open!”

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Read Jokethe convertible