Eyed man Jokes - page 2

Stopped at traffic light, the gray beard biker stared wide-eyed at a punk rocker crossing the street in front of him. The kid was a helluva sight. The punker had green, orange, yellow, and blue hair, elaborately waxed up into tall spikes sprouting from the top of his head. Seeing the old biker staring at him, the punk rocker stopped and said, “Hey, whatcha lookin’ at, man? Didn’t you ever do anythin’ excitin’ in your life when you were younger?”…

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Two guys were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under a blazing heat for six days, they ran out of food and water. On the tenth day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near,…

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After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.” The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded. Harrison looked up, wide-eyed, and stated,…

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A guy once had a parrot that had a very dirty mouth. He would bring a date home and the parrot would squawk, “Somebody’s gonna get screwed!” Of course, the girls would get mad and leave. This went on for about 3 or 4 weeks, until finally he got so frustrated that he went back to the pet store where he had purchased the bird. He asked the pet store owner how to stop his parrot from scaring away his…

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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to…

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The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…

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A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, “Great…he’s 4 and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, and I’ll answer.” After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, “Well son, do you have any questions?” “Just one,” gasped…

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