Europe Jokes

Moldova Votes ‘Oui’ to EU, Finds Door Still Only Slightly Ajar (and Russia is Still Tapping on the Window)

Moldova Votes ‘Oui’ to EU, Finds Door Still Only Slightly Ajar (and Russia is Still Tapping on the Window) Good news, Moldova! Your citizens have decisively voted for the pro-European party of President Maia Sandu, confirming your unwavering desire to ditch the past and embrace the glorious future of bureaucracy and shared agricultural policies. ? The Action and Solidarity party snagged a whopping 50.03% of the vote, sending a clear message: ‘We want in!’ However, much like trying to get…

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Read JokeMoldova Votes ‘Oui’ to EU, Finds Door Still Only Slightly Ajar (and Russia is Still Tapping on the Window)

head

Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately it was born without arms or legs—without even a torso. It was just a head, still, the Coopers loved and cared for their child, spoiling and indulging it. Finally after 20 years, the Coopers took a much needed vacation, and whom should they meet but a European doctor who had recently achieved a medical breakthrough. “I know,” he said, “how to attach arms and legs to…

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Actual quotes from the witness stand:

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…

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Sex at sea

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away…

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Loan

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.…

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TeleTest

Teletubbies Personality Test It amazes me how these things really work! How do they do it?? The following test was developed by a combination of top U.S. and European psychologists. The results are extremely accurate in describing your personality with one simple question. Which is your favorite Teletubby: A. Yellow B. Purple C. Green D. Red (scroll down for psychological profile) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >…

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How to read a film

Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…

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Parking Loan

A businessman walks into a bank in Boston and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for…

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