English teachers Jokes

This Crazy English Language

The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…

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Who’s There?

Three people were trying to get into heaven. St. Peter asked the first one, “Who’s there?” “It’s me, Albert Jones,” the voice replied. St. Peter let him in. St Peter then asked the second one the same question, “Who’s there?” “It’s me, Charlie Smith,” And St. Peter let him in. He finally asked the third one, “Who’s there?” “It is I, Verla Mara,” answered the third person. “Oh, great!” muttered St. Peter. “Another one of those English teachers.”

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Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

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Read JokeStudent Bloopers: The World According to………..