electric mixer

Fruitcake
—————–

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cup dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink.
Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer.

Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose
with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can
find. Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.

Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe. Sure to lift your spirits:

1 C water
1C sugar
4 eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 fifth Jack Daniels whiskey

*Get large mixing bowl
*Sample whiskey to check for quality.
*Check whiskey again
*Pour one level cup of whiskey
*Drink
*Turn on the electric mixer
*Beat one cup of butter in the bowl
*Add one seaspoon of tugar and beat again
*Cry another tup of whiskey
*Dump 2 cups of dried fruit into bowl
*Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beatererers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
*Sample the shiskey to check for the tonsisticity.
*Sift the lemmonon juice and strain your nuts.
*Next, sift two cups of salt..or something…who cares? check the whiskey
*add one table, and a poon of sugar..or somefling…add whatever you can find
*Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees, don’t forget to beat of the turner
*Thfrow the bowl out the window, *check the wiskey
*go to bed rest for two hours or until done.