Dumb man Jokes - page 2

SUPERMARKET TRAINING

A very dumb man applies for a job at the supermarket. He gets the job. The first day his training started. His boss said “I’ll pretend to be the customer and you make a sale to me.” “Okay, let’s start. Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?” “Umm…I dunno,” replied the trainee lamely. “No, no, no! You’re supposed to say, ‘A dollar seventy-five’!” scolded the boss. “Let’s try again.” “Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?”…

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Ham & cheese again!

There was a black man, white man, and a dumb man at work. Then it was time for lunch. The 3 men sat down to begin their lunch. The black man opened his lunch to see a tuna fish sandwhich. He said, “If I get another sandwich with tuna fish in it, I am going to kill myself!” Then the white man opened his lunch to see a peanut butter sandwich. He said, “If I get another peanut butter sandwich,…

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A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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The Ventriloquist

This ventriloquist was playing a club and happened to crack a series of jokes about hillbillies. His dander rising, one young man in the club finally stood and said, “Hey, Ah’m gettin’ tired of these here jokes. Not all of us is dumb, y’know.” The flustered ventriloquest appologized, “It was all in jest, sir. Please don’t take it so seriously!” “Shaddup,” snarled the hillbilly, “Ain’t talkin’ to you. I’m talking to that wood fella on yar knee.”

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Politically Correct Terms for Men and Women

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!) She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY…

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Crazy Engineers

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…

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Southern Sayings…..

SOUTHERN SAYINGS….. 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” 2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” 3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” 4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.’” 5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” 6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” 7. “My cow died last night so I don’t…

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3 Little Indians Go To School

When the new school year started, the history teacher was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asked the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knew this. The little boy stood up and proudly threw out his chest. Then he took his fist and hit it on his chest. He said in a…

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The Frog and the Loan Official

One day, at the 45th National Bank, a frog hopped inside and sat at the loan info chair. The lady on the job asked, “How may I help you?”, feeling dumb for talking to a frog. The frog replied, “Ribbit ribbit, loan, 5 dollars.” The lady asked the frog for colateral, and he spit a wooden bird, no taller then 2cm on the table. Wiping it off, the lady replied, “Mr. frog, my name is Patricia Black. I will be…

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