Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were these two guys in a bar, and after they had gotten drunk and after a few hours of being there, one of them saw a very attractive girl walk in. He asks the other guy, “Why don’t you ask her to dance?” So he went and asked her to dance, and she said, “No, I’m concentrating on matrimony and I’d rather sit than dance.” The guy comes back, depressed, so his fried asked, “What happened, did she say…
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A bunch of guys get together for a night on the town. After a very long night of drinking they all decide to go back to one of the guy’s house. He tells all the boys that his wife won’t mind getting up to fix them a late snack. That is just what they do. They all go back to his house. He tells the boys to go grab a beer out of the fridge while he wakes his wife.…
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A man at a bar gets really drunk. Some guys decide to be good Samaritans and get him home. So they pick him up off the floor drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls three times. When they to the house, they help him out of the car and he falls down four more times. They ring the bell, and one says, “Here’s your husband, missus.” The man’s wife says, “Where the hell is…
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Three men were in a car. The driver was drunk, and the car crashed in the middle of the desert on a huge rock. The three men started going up to heaven. Half way up they stop, they then hear a voice, “YOU THREE MEN HAVE A CHOICE, YOU GUYS CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN OR BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ON EARTH OTHER THAN HUMAN.” So the three men all said that they want to be back on earth. They heard…
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One night there were two guys sitting around a fire. One guy turns around and says, “Do you want a beer?” The other guy replies, “No, better not. Last time I got drunk, I blew chunks”. So they’re still sitting around and about an hour later, the first guy is just wasted. He asked again, “Are you sure you don’t want a beer?” The second guy says “No, last time I blew chunks.” The first guy said, “Don’t be a…
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It was early one Saturday morning. A friend of mine called to warn me of a group of Jehovah Witnesses working our neighborhood. I thought it would be funny if I appeared at the door totally nude and holding a beer. I looked out the window and saw a man in a suit, a well-dressed woman and two young girls carrying what looked like a bag. As soon as the doorbell rang, I opened it. Acting very drunk, I asked…
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Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year, This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass, I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak, And wear all black for the rest of the week, Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade, For…
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Two guys are sitting at a table in a bar checking out the ladies. They are talking about how the second guy can never seem to pick up any women, so the first guy decides to show him how. “Watch,” he says. I’ll go pick up some women, you watch and learn. “Ok,” says the second guy. The first guy slides up next to a pretty young blonde woman at the bar. He says, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”…
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“Haven’t I seen you before?” (“Nice ass!”) “I’m a Romantic.” (“I haven’t got a dime.”) “I need you.” (“My hand is tired.”) “I am different from all the other guys.” (“I’m not circumcised.”) “I want a commitment.” (“I’m sick of masturbation.”) “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.” (“You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”) “I really want to get to know you better.” (“So I can tell my friends about it.”) “It’s just orange juice, try…
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10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier than changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself. 6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra? 5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends. 4. Three words: No shotgun weddings. 3. All guys look like George Clooney…
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