Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The president of France, Germany, and Bill Clinton sat down at a nice restaurant to eat and talk in France. After a few minutes, the waiter walks up to them, and says to the French president, “Le wine, monsier?” Because that’s what most French people drink, he nods his head. Then the waiter walks up to the German president and says, “Le vodka, monsier?” Because that is what most people in Germany drink, and nods his head. The the waiter…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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1. Pick up cat and cradle it in your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from under table and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw…
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Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that it would be all right, and that he could sleep in the barn. The man went into the barn to bed down and the farmer went back into the house. The farmer’s daughter came down from upstairs…
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A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,that’s interesting. I’m a woman… Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left,but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of…
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One sunny Tuesday afternoon, in a bar in Normandy, France, a Barman notices two guys sitting in the corner leaning on each other. The Barman, feelng a bit homophobic, goes over to these two and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept gay people in this bar! There is a lovely gay bar down the road if you are interested!” The couple look angry and one replies, “I’m sorry to tell you, but we are not gay! We are in…
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Three men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.” As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For my wife’s birthday I’m going to buy her a…
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1.BARCODE: The fighting rules down at the local tavern. 2.BUG: The reason you give for calling in sick. 3.BYTE: What the pit bull did to cousin Jim Bob 4.CACHE: What you have to resort to when you run out of food stamps. 5.CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in 6.CRASH: When you go to Junior’s party uninvited 7.DIGITAL: Counting on your fingers 8.DISKETTE: A female disco dancer 9.FAX: The only thing the FBI is interested in 10.HACKER:…
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A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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Top 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up 1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 8. You…
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