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Keep the singing down, OK?

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping?”



Free Advice from Kids

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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. - Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. - Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13

6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13

7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14

10. Don’t sneeze in front of mom when you’re eating crackers.
- Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

13. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9

14. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
-Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9

17. Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom
when she’s on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8


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Trust Me, I’m a Doctor!

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A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him!

Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must learn to trust me.”


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  • Woods

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    This pedophile was bringing a kid into the woods.

    The woods were dark and dreary and full of sounds . The kid got scared and looked up to the man and said, “All these noises and sounds are really scary!”

    The guy looks back at the kid and says, “It’s ok for you, but I’ve got to come back this way on my own.”


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    2 your mama jokes

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    your mama is so stupid she took toilet paper to a crap game.

    your mama is so stupid she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.


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