Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A traveling salesman had been on the road for two months and was finally on his way home. Feeling bad about having been away from his children so long, he decided to buy them a gift. So he stopped by a pet store and bought them a cute little puppy. Unfortunately, he was stopped on his way in by a stewardess who told him, “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t allow animals.” In desperation, the man popped into the men’s…
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Take a look at the following words, after their letters have been rearranged: Dormitory = Dirty Room Evangelist = Evil’s Agent Desperation = A Rope Ends It The Morse Code = Here Come Dots Slot Machines = Cash Lost in ’em Animosity = Is No Amity Santa = Satan Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z’s! The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point = I’m A Dot in Place The…
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A guy goes into a nightclub wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn?t have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets…
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Little Johnny was so rotton that his mother didn’t know what to do with him. It was getting close to his birthday and he was demanding a new bicycle. His mother told him that he had been so bad during the year that he wasn’t going to get ANYTHING. He whined and complained and stamped his feet–demanding the bike. His mother, in desperation and just trying to shut him up, said, “Why don’t you write a letter to Jesus and…
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A town in Poland had only one cow, and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles–or one from Minsk for only 1000 rubles. So, naturally, they got the cow from Minsk. It was a great cow with a wonderful disposition, and it gave lots of milk and lots of cream. Everyone loved it dearly. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more…
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A memo…. Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you…
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Mr. Johnson had been chosen by the board of a large software company as CEO. On the first day he took office as CEO, Mr. Johnson received three numbered envelopes and a note from the former CEO. In the note, the former CEO wished his successor good luck in running the company. Furthermore, the former CEO explained that he left these three envelopes containing advice. Each envelope should only be opened in the event of a crisis the company would…
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A film crew is on location in Kenya, when a tribal shaman approaches the director and says, “Tomorrow rain.” The director pays no attention, but the following day it pours and shooting has to be delayed. That night, the director sends his assistant to bring the shaman back. “What will be the weather tomorrow?” asks the director. “Bigger rain tomorrow, much wind,” and sure enough a terrible storm once again delays the filming. But then the witch doctor disappears for…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout out all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with “Somebody’s gonna get it tonight! Somebody’s gonna get it tonight!” In desperation, Marilyn went to her local pet shop and explained her parrot problem to the pet shop proprietor. “What you need,” he said, “is a female parrot too. I don’t have one on hand but…
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