Today vs. Yesteryear
The difference between bathing suits now and back then is that the bathing suits from the past required that you open the suit to see the butt. Today’s bathing suits require that you open the butt to see the suit!
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The difference between bathing suits now and back then is that the bathing suits from the past required that you open the suit to see the butt. Today’s bathing suits require that you open the butt to see the suit!
Breaking News (from the 17th Century): Michaelina Wautier Officially Declared ‘Old Master’ (Only Took a Few Hundred Years) It seems history needed a little nudge, but the verdict is finally in: Michaelina Wautier, the incredibly talented Flemish artist, has officially ascended to the ranks of ‘old masters’! ? This long-overdue declaration coincides perfectly with a new exhibition ?? opening in Vienna on Tuesday, gathering her magnificent works into one spectacular show for the very first time. Better late than never,…
Well, look what we have here! Cuba’s power grid, apparently suffering from a severe case of ‘the Mondays’ every other month, has decided to take its fifth little siesta this year. ? The energy ministry, probably sighing heavily, confirmed that 10 million people are once again playing ‘find the flashlight’ after a “total disconnection” of their wonderfully antiquated electric system. ???? Emergency crews are, yet again, on the scene, likely with a sense of déjà vu, trying to coax the…
On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…
A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874 in small bills.…
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…
Two blondes walk into a bar. They sit down order drinks and start chanting 180 days 180 days. A couple minutes later two more blondes walk into the bar sit down and order drinks. then they start chanting 180 days 180 days. The bartender asks whats this 180 days? One blonde says we did a puzzle and the box said 3 years and up and we did it in 180 days.
A police car pulls up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and Grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…couldn’t find his way home. “Oh, Morris!” said Grandma, “you’ve been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost?” Leaning close to Grandma so that the policeman couldn’t overhear, Morris whispered, “I wasn’t lost….I was just too tired to walk home.”
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart for Christmas, and as they had not been dating very long, he decided a pair of gloves would be appropriate… romantic but not too intimate. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Saks and bought a pair of white gloves. The younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items, and the sister got the gloves and…