Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After tucking their three-year-old son, Sammy, into bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying, hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny, and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, an an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash,…
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“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.” “Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.” “Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene!’” “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.” “If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now…
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A father is taking a bath with his son and the son says, “Daddy, what’s that?” Father says, “I don’t know, it just grew there.” Son says: “You’re lucky it didn’t grow on your face.”
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One day, John was masturbating when his dad came in the room. “Son, how many times have I told you not to do that? You’ll go blind.” “I’m over here, Dad.”
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice…
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Dad came home one afternoon to find his young son in the middle of the floor with a pencil and paper. “What are you doing, son?” dad asked. Jr. replied, “I am figuring my debts up.” “That’s good son, and what do you think you owe?” Jr. answered, “I figure I owe mom for nine months carrying charge and at least a 2 year milk bill” “Jr., that’s great, now what do you figure you owe me?” Son thought for…
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Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastor’s son, replied, “That’s nothin’. My dad owns hell.” “No way!” another boy scoffed. “How can a man own hell?” “Sure he can,” the preacher’s son said. “My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night.”
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, And threw down his list, “Miserable little pricks, Ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind, To scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass, For damn near a year, Instead of ‘Thanks Santa,’ What do I hear? The old lady bitches, ‘Cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk, And goosed all the maids, Donner is…
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A young boy walked into the living room and saw his dad sitting on the couch drinking a beer. The boy asked, “Dad, can I have a beer?” The dad replied, “Well, can you touch your dick to your ass?” The boy answered, “Well, no.” “Then you can’t have one.” the dad said. The next day, the boy walked into the living room again and saw his dad sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. The boy asked, “Dad, can…
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After I had grown up and become a man, my father and I were seated in front of the TV, during a football game’s halftime exercises. Dad remarked, “Son, every time I gave you a whipping when you were bad, you’d go into the bathroom and spend about 30 minutes, scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean, and I could never figure out why you did that.” Without taking my eyes off the TV, I replied, “I was ‘getting…
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