Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A radio station was running a competition: words that aren’t in the dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The Prize was a trip to Bali. DJ: 96FM here, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, me name’s Dave. DJ: Hello, Dave. What’s your word? Dave: Goan… spellt G-O-A-N, pronounced go-an. DJ: …You’re correct, Dave! Goan is not in the dictionary! Now, for a trip to Bali: what sentence could you use that word in…
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Three hillbillies decided to buy a pig to enter in the county fair. After they had the pig for about a year the thing didn’t gain any weight. So the hillbillies decided to put a cork in the pig’s ass. After about 6 months the pig was ready for the fair, gaining a good 150-200 lbs. They went to the fair and won First Place. The hillbillies went home and one of them said, “We gotta take out the cork…
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There were two guys in a locker room and the one guy noticed the other guy had a cork in his ass. So the guy said, “Sir, is that a cork in your ass?” The other guy replied saying “Well, yes it is.” He said, “I was in my house cleaning it up and I saw this magic lamp. So I picked it up and rubbed it. All of a sudden a genie popped out. The genie said I will…
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of…
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Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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Five vagrants were picked up and were standing before the judge. They insisted they were not vagrants, but were merely unemployed at the moment. The judge, obviously disbelieving, said to the first alleged vagrant, “What do you do when you’re working?’ Said the first vagrant, “I’m a cork soaker, Your Honor.” “A what?” said the judge, a little scandalized. “I work for a bottling concern and I’m in charge of seeing that the corks are properly soaked so they will…
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A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows.…
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Bob and Fred are fishing in the lake when one lands a corked bottle. He pulls the cork, and a genie comes out. “For freeing me from the bottle, I will grant you anything you wish,” says the genie. Bob looks down at the empty cooler in the boat and says, “I wish this lake was filled with beer.” There is the sound of a small poof, and suddenly the entire lake is filled with beer. Bob looks at Fred…
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If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…
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An elderly man was walking along the beach in miamI while his wife slept late at their hotel. He came upon a bottle with a cork. He pulled the cork and lo and behold, out came an enormous genie. “Hello, genie”, said Morris. “I will grant you one wish,” said the genie, “and if I can’t grant that wish, I will grant you another one.” “Ok” said Morris. He picked up a shell and drew a map in the sand.…
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