Constipation in Germany
What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Constipation Jokes
Bathroom Concern
Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation problem. “It’s terrible,” she said. “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “I sit in the bathroom for a half hour in the morning and again at night.” “No,” the doctor said. “I mean do you take anything?” “Of course,” she answered. “I take a magazine in with…
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Constipated Construction Worker
A construction worker tells his doctor, “I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, “Lean over the table.” After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his ass, with a baseball bat. A loud “CRACK!” is heard, and the doctor sends the man to the bathroom. After coming out of the bathroom, the construction worker says, “I feel great! What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?” The doctor says, “Stop wiping your…
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remedy
How do you get rid of constipation ? Sit on a block of cheese and eat a mouse.
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Constipated Elephant
This doesn’t quite qualify as a Darwin Award, but it comes pretty close… PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly — and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like…
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Another poopie list
Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…
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Big chief
There was this big tribal chief who was suffering from constipation, and therefore sent his messenger to the urban doctor for getting prescription. The messenger went to the doc and said, “Doc, doc…. Big chief, no shit! Big chief, no shit!” The doctor handed him one month’s prescription. But the chief consumed all the pills in a day. When the messenger showed up at the doctor’s office again, the doctor asked, “What’s the problem now?” The messenger said, “Big shit,…
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Some selected Puns
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. –=[|]=– A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back,…
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urban myths?
INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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Sister Mary Jane
Sister Mary Jane, a nun from a convent a block away from Jack’s liquor store, walked in and said,”Oh Jack, give me a pint o’ the brandy.” “Sister Mary Jane,” exclaimed Jack, “I can’t do that! I’ve never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!” “Oh Jack,” she responded, “it’s only for the Mother Superior.” Her voice dropped, “It cures constipation, you know.” So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night, Jack closed the store and walked home.…
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