Christmas Jokes - page 2

Who Wants To Be Millionaire? Christmas Special

This ghetto lady goes on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and she is going for the $1000 dollar question. Regis: Name two of Santa’s reindeer? A) Dancer & Prancer B) Vixon & Nixon C) Comit & Star D) Olive & Rudolph Ghetto Lady: (D) Olive & Rudolph ***** Audience Chuckles ***** ***** Regis Chuckles ***** Regis: Is that your final answer? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: You Sure? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: I’m sorry but you are wrong! Do you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWho Wants To Be Millionaire? Christmas Special

Christmas Wish

A little girl sits upon Santa’s lap and he asks her what she would like to have for Christmas. The little girl replies, “a G.I. Joe doll and a Barbie.” Santa says, “doesn’t Ken come with Barbie?” The little replies, “No, she comes with G.I. Joe, she only fakes it with Ken!”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeChristmas Wish

Christmas in the Internet Age

At a popular department store, as a little eight-year old girl positions herself comfortably on his lap, the department store Santa Claus asks the usual, “And what would you like to have this Christmas?” The girl stares at Santa Claus with a wide-eyed and shocked expression and asks in an anguished voice, “Didn’t you get my e-mail yesterday morning?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChristmas in the Internet Age

Jewish Christmas

After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, “Sammy, since you’re Jewish, I guess your family didn’t celebrate Christmas.” Sammy replied, “Oh, yes we did! We all held hands and danced around the cash register singing, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeJewish Christmas

Something for Christmas

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady, about twenty years old, walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, “What do you want for Christmas, young lady?” “Something for my mother,” said the young lady. “Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. “What do you want me to bring her?” Without blinking,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSomething for Christmas

Little Johnny’s Christmas

Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLittle Johnny’s Christmas

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.. PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChristmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Presenting Christmas Cheer

Three men die in a car accident. They all find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something that represents “Christmas.” The first man searches his pockets and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cookie, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, the angel asks, “How do these represent…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePresenting Christmas Cheer