A Bad Christmas Gift
My dad has a wonderful knack for buying terrible Christmas gifts. Last year he bought me a Chia Head. Now call me crazy, but I think that Christmas is a very inappropriate time for giving head!
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Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
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Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Christmas gift Jokes
Christmas Gifts
Just after classes resumed from Christmas break, a young girl was telling her teacher what he had received from Santa. “Me got a Barbie from Santa,” said the little girl. “I got a Barbie from Santa,” corrected the teacher. “Me, too!” replied the child.
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Christmas Gift for The Mailman
It was a week before Christmas and the mailman was delivering the mail to Mrs. O’Brien’s house. When the mailman got to the door, Mrs. O’Brien asked the mailman to come into the house for his Christmas present. She took him to her bedroom and they did the nasty between the sheets. After the event, the mailman got dressed and was ready to leave. Mrs. O’Brien said, “Oh by the way, here is a dollar for you.” The mailman was…
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The 12 days of christmas
Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…
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12 Days of Christmas
December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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Gifts
So this poor dude is talking to this rich dude about what they got their wives for Christmas… the rich dude tells the poor dude: “I bought my wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz.” The poor dude sez: “Why the fuck did you buy two expensive-ass gifts like that?” So the rich dude sez: “Well, if my wife doesn’t like the diamond ring, at least she’ll have a nice car to drive to the store so she can…
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Little Johnny’s Christmas
Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…
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Top 10 signs Bill Clinton may be
10. Every time you are about to be punished, you start a war with another school. 09. You don’t count an oral report as a report. 08. When you get caught without your homework, you blame it on a “vast, 4th grade conspiracy” 07. When your Mom asks if you’ve done your chores, you respond “that depends on what the meaning of the word ‘done’ is”. 06. You get expelled, and your popularity rating goes up 10%. 05. The day…
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I Like Monkeys
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…
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Little Johnny’s Letter to Santa
Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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