Chores Jokes

Where’s My Breakfast?

One morning little Johnny comes walking down the stairs to find his breakfast not on the table. He looks over at his mother and says “Hey mom, where is my breakfast?” His mother looks at him and says “Well, you won’t get your breakfast until you finish your chores.” Johnny walks out of the house and heads down to the barn to do his chores. He goes in an gets the chicken feed and walks into the pens. All the…

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Special Courses for Women

Continuing Education Courses For Women 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.. 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.. 3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.. 4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.. 5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.. ] 6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.. 7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.. 8. Valuation:…

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Will Work for ??

This homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Sunday morning and set about doing all the chores he’d been putting off for weeks. He’d cleaned the garage, pruned the hedges and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, “Say, what do you get for yard work?” The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, “The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.”

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THE CURE

Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative. His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him. After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office. “Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to…

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Cultural Differences

There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…

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Read JokeCultural Differences

Doctor’s Visit

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. He will surely die if you don’t do the following: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.…

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What took you so long?

A man is tired of having to do everything for himself around his house, so one day he goes down to his local pet shop and asks the owner for a pet that can do chores for him. The pet shop owner offers the man a dog, and the man replies, saying “Dogs are dirty animals, what else do you have?” The owner says “What about a cat?” to which the man replies, “Cats are too lazy” The owner then…

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Read JokeWhat took you so long?

Top 10 signs Bill Clinton may be

10. Every time you are about to be punished, you start a war with another school. 09. You don’t count an oral report as a report. 08. When you get caught without your homework, you blame it on a “vast, 4th grade conspiracy” 07. When your Mom asks if you’ve done your chores, you respond “that depends on what the meaning of the word ‘done’ is”. 06. You get expelled, and your popularity rating goes up 10%. 05. The day…

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Read JokeTop 10 signs Bill Clinton may be

A Farmer’s Punishment

There is a boy who lives on the farm and every morning he goes out to do his chores. The boy goes out to milk the cows, once he milks them he kicks the cows in the head. Then the boy goes out to feed the pigs, he feeds them and then kicks the pigs in the head also. The last he goes to the chickens and kicks them in the heads as well then takes their eggs. Now he…

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Newspaper Clip

(This is a true story from the newspaper The Cape Times, South Africa) “For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning,” a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. “There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air condidtioning system, and search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues. However, further inquiries have now revealed…

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