Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce Indian tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.” The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.…
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QUESTION: What do electric train sets and women’s breasts have in commong? ANSWER: Both were intended for children, but it’s the father who plays with them.
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A guy died, went to hell, and was greeted by the devil. The devil led him to a hallway and told him to choose 1 of 3 rooms to spend the rest of eternity in. He opened the first door to find a group of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. He thought that looked extremely uncomfortable, so he opened the second door. Here he found a group of people standing on their heads on a concrete…
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Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Last words spoken at the Last Supper: “Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.” Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?” Did you know that half of…
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On my first day of classes at Ballstate University in Muncie, Indiana, I took a front row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began . . . Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook . . . I was working feverishly to…
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Suppose Edgar Allen Poe Had Used a Computer… Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and Wasted paper on the floor. Longing for the warmth of bed sheets Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets, Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command, And waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor…
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Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…
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“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
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Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result…
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