Chicken pen Jokes

Chicken Analysis

It was autumn, and time for the blonde farmer to go over his books. To his puzzlement, he found that his flock of Rhode Island Reds was twice as profitable, in terms of eggs they produced, as was his flock of White Leghorns. “Look at this, he said to his wife. “I’ve gone over the numbers again and again, and there’s no doubt about it: the Reds are laying twice as many eggs and bringing in twice the money of…

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Crazy Chicken

Well there was this farmer and his rooster had just passed away, and all of his hens were sad and depressed. They were so depressed that they would not lay any eggs. So the farmer said, “I am going to have to find a new rooster.” So the farmer set out and bought a new rooster. He put the rooster in the chicken pen and suddenly the rooster mounted a hen then another then another. The farmer was amazed and…

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chicken truck

One day this guy was driving a truck with his new pet parrot. He sees a hitch-hiker and pulls over to pick her up, but right before the girl gets in, the parrot says, “No fuck, no ride!” Horrified, the girl runs away. The truck driver says to the parrot, “That wasn’t nice!” He sees another girl goes to pick her up and the same thing happens. This time the truck driver says, “If you do that one more time…

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road????

Chicken Anyone? Why did the chicken cross the road? Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side. Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. Karl Marx: It was an historically inevitability. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world…

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Popular Joke Searches

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Where’s My Breakfast?

One morning little Johnny comes walking down the stairs to find his breakfast not on the table. He looks over at his mother and says “Hey mom, where is my breakfast?” His mother looks at him and says “Well, you won’t get your breakfast until you finish your chores.” Johnny walks out of the house and heads down to the barn to do his chores. He goes in an gets the chicken feed and walks into the pens. All the…

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Back to the Drawing Board

Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…

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Good advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…

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Some interesting facts

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…

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Jack Schitt

Who is Jack Schitt? Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt…

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