Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young college girl is studying in the library for a final exam when she is approached by a very tall and attractive young man. He sits down next to her and interrupts her study every five minutes or so to ask her questions. After about an hour of studying, and being interrupted, the young girl realizes that the young man is an idiot, and decides to go back to her room to study. As she stands up to leave,…
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Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. The Accountant said his…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…
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The dean and the coach struck a simple deal: Despite his abysmal grades, the all-star tackle could play in the big game if, and only if, he could learn and remember the formula for water by the day of the game. The coach and the chemistry teacher both worked with the gridiron star, and were confident that he’d come through with flying colors. On the morning of the game the dean came down to the locker room where the tackle…
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girl: I’d like a triple vanilla ice-cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and lots of whipped cream. waiter: is that with a cherry on top? girl: heavens no! I’m on a diet. An accountant got out of bed and complained that he had not slept a wink . “why didn’t you count sheep?” his wife asked “I did, that is what got me into trouble,” the accountant replied ” I made a mistake during the first hour, and it took…
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. “Now I’m dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?” “No, Sir,” a student called out. “And why not?” the professor queried. “Because if it would, you wouldn’t have dropped it in.”
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At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an “A” so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time-however, after all the hardy-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Duke…
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Grandpa hears some banging noises on the side of the house. He looks out the window and sees his grandson with a hammer, driving some weird-colored nails into the side of the house. “Junior,what are you doing with those nails?” Junior looks up at Grandpa, and replies.”These aren’t nails, Granpa, they’re worms!” Sure enough, on closer look they are! “Where did you get those from, boy? Worms are supposed to be soft and squishy, NOT hard and firm like that!”…
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