Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young man wants to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband. “Hi hon,” he says “how do you like your new phone?” She replies “I just love it! It’s so…
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A high level executive sits at a local bar one night and orders a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, the bartender notices the man speaking in to the palm of his hand, as if he were giving orders to a secretary. “Who were you talking to?” the bartender asks the executive, thinking the man was having a breakdown. The executive stretches out his left hand and shows the bartender a cellphone keyboard encrusted into his left hand.…
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a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…
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1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. 2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. 3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. 4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. 5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and…
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How to Identify Where a Driver is From One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. One hand on wheel, one finger and head out the window — cursing, cutting across all lanes of traffic: Philly One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?” “What’s the price?” “Only $1,500.” “Well,…
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TO DRIVE A BMW YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES,TALK ON THE RIGHT CELL PHONE, USE THE RIGHT TENNIS RACQUET, DRINK THE RIGHT BOTTLED WATER. ALL A COWBOY HAS TO REMEMBER IS……….THE SADDLEHORN GOES IN FRONT!
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13 signs that you have had too much of the 90’s: 1.) You tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2.) You now think of three expressos as “getting wasted.” 3.) You haven’t played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 4.) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 5.) You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back “What’s…
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Three blondes stranded on an island decide to go and have a contest to see who can swim the farthest. Well the first can only go 5 miles she got tired and slowly sank down, no more of her. The second blonde goes and got 18 miles and a shark came along and snagged her and took her under. The third blonde had sense and didn’t go. So then she goes to her purse and pulls out a cell phone…
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