QUIETER CAR
Did you hear about the new device that makes your car run 95 percent quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Car right Jokes - page 2
The Bill of No Rights
The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…
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Right Club for the Job
Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies…”No matter what!!” On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive, and it ended up on the concrete cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, “Wait a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our lies, remember? No matter what!” The first player tried to…
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Greeting Card Ideas Rejected By Hallmark
ENCOURAGEMENT So your daughter’s a hooker And spoiled your day. Look on the bright side, It’s excellent pay. APOLOGY My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. I looked at the tire, Sorry about your cat. GET WELL You had your bladder removed and you’re on the mends. Here’s a floral bouquet and a box of Depends. COMING OUT You’ve announced that you’re gay, Won’t that be a laugh ‘Cause you’re the new Head of the Joint Chiefs of…
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Running a Red Light
A police officer in his car sees a driver out in the open turn on a red light. The cop drives up to the car right away, pulls it over and walks to the driver, seeing that it was a foreigner. “That was a red light over there.” She replied, “I know, so?” “Well, in this country, you can’t turn on a red light.” “But the sign said no right turns on red so I made a left.”
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It’s Okay, Dad!
A man, in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “Aw, Dad, it’s okay,” his son said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”
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Felled Sycamore Gap Tree: From Tragic Stump to ‘Artsy’ Hope, Thanks to National Trust’s Master Plan
Felled Sycamore Gap Tree: From Tragic Stump to ‘Artsy’ Hope, Thanks to National Trust’s Master Plan ?. It’s been two whole years since the beloved Sycamore Gap tree met its untimely end, leaving a nation in mourning (and probably a few bewildered hikers). Now, in a stroke of bureaucratic genius, the National Trust has decided to tackle that ‘sense of loss’ head-on, by… turning the wood into art! ? That’s right, artists are now queuing up for a piece of…
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Celebrity Fighter Discovers Presidential Race Involves, Shockingly, ‘Rules’ and ‘Paperwork’
Well, who saw this coming? ? After vowing to curb immigration and ‘shore up Irish culture,’ a famous mixed martial arts fighter has officially pulled out of Ireland’s presidential race. Apparently, the world of politics isn’t quite like the octagon. The fighter complained that the nomination rules were a ‘straitjacket,’ preventing a ‘true democratic contest.’ It seems the rigorous process of, you know, running a country, was a bit too much for someone who prefers headlocks to legislative loopholes. He…
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Damn Yankees
During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…
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