Car accident Jokes - page 2

Small-town Newspaper

A young reporter for a small-town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor: “Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.” The editor scolded the new reporter, saying, “This is a family paper. We don’t use words like ‘breasts’ around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate.” The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSmall-town Newspaper

think good thoughts

2 good friends died in car accident and went to heaven. They were 2 good men so God gave them 2 pairs of angel wings so that they can fly around just like others. Before take off, God told them “Do not think of something nasty, if you do, you wings will break off!”. The 2 friends happily went off to tour heaven. On their way, there was a group of beautiful angels flying near by, one of the friend…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokethink good thoughts

Gates of Hell…

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGates of Hell…

Whoops!

One day, a person got into a terrible car accident and was admitted to a Hospital. Later, His friends arrived and they were told that their friend has to get his leg amputated. After a while, a surgeon walks into the waiting room and tells the friends that he’s got good news and bad news. The friends ask for the bad news to get it over with. The Surgeon tells them that they accidently amputated the wrong leg. “And what’s…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhoops!

Lawyer Jokes

What does a sperm have in common with a lawyer? They both have a 1 in a million chance of becoming a human! Why should lawyers be buried 100 feet deep? Because deep down, they`re really good people. Why don`t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why shouldn`t you swerve and hit him? It might be your bicycle. Why did the lawyer cross the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLawyer Jokes

Hospital Joke

A woman gets a call from the hospital. The doctor at the hospital says, “Mrs. Smith, it’s about your husband. He’s been in a terrible car accident.” Mrs. Smith says, “Ohmigod, what happened.” The doctor says, “Well, I’ve got good news, and bad news.” Mrs. Smith says, “Give me the good news first.” The doctor says, “Well, your husband suffered extensive injuries and will take years to recuperate. He broke both of his arms, among other things, so for at…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHospital Joke

Marriage Made in Heaven

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven’s Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he left. The couple…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMarriage Made in Heaven

Adam & Eve

On day a drunk was in a car accident and died. On the way to heaven an angel stopped him and said you must take a test. If you go to church you should know all the answers. She said when ever he got a question write he would know becuase the bells would chime and the angels would sing. And he got 3 questions right the heavenly gates would open. So they began, the first question was who were…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAdam & Eve

Presenting Christmas Cheer

Three men die in a car accident. They all find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something that represents “Christmas.” The first man searches his pockets and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cookie, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, the angel asks, “How do these represent…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePresenting Christmas Cheer

Important Questions to Ponder

If Con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeImportant Questions to Ponder