Cannibal Jokes

Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers after a large meal. “Your wife makes a delicious roast,” one chief said. “Thanks,” his friend said, “I’m gonna miss her.” “You know,” says the first, “I don’t like my mother-in-law.” The other one replies, “Then just eat the vegetables.”

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Three famous explorers, Dr. Smith, Dr. Doe and Dr. Jones, were on an anthropological excursion into the deepest jungle of Borneo when they were captured by a tribe of head-hunting cannibals. When the three captive explorers were brought into the village, the cannibals’ chief told them, “You all trespassers! We no like trespassers. We eat trespassers. But we very fair. You three take test first. If you pass test, you go away alive. But if you fail, you lose head…

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“I’ll get a world record for this.” “It’s fireproof.” “He’s probably just hibernating.” “What does this button do?” “You’re under citizen’s arrest!” “Bull! You’re not a REAL cannibal.” “It’s probably just a rash.” “Are you SURE the power is OFF?” “Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?” “The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!” “Pull the pin and count to WHAT?” “WHICH wire was I supposed to cut?” “I…

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An airplane shipment full of Pepsi had a malfunction flying over the continent of Africa and went down. It took a few weeks for the Pepsi Company to send a three man rescue team. While searching the area they found a tribe of cannibals. Asking the Chief of the tribe if he knew anything about the crash, the Chief replied “We ate the crew and we drank the Pepsi.” The rescue team was shocked! A team member asked “Did you…

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Support Cannibalism – EAT ME! 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bastard. Women like you made me this way. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?…

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In the land of cannibals, the cannibals cook was busying himself with a stew pot. Adding spices, tasting the broth, and stirring. Repeating the steps as often as a cook should. A while later the cannibal chief walks up and asks, “Whacha, makin?” “SOUP!” yelled the cannibal cook. Seeing that the cook was not in a good mood, the chief decided to change the subject by asking, “So how’s the family?” “They’re all fine, I guess. BUT I JUST CAN’T…

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