Breast man Jokes

Breast Man

A guy goes to see a psychiatrist. He says, “Doc, I think I’m hung up on women’s breasts.” The psychiatrist says, “We’ll see. I’ll give you a quick word association test. I’ll say something, and then you say the first thing that comes into your mind. Shall we begin?” The guy nods his head. The doctor says, “Eggs.” The guy says, “Boobs.” The doctor says, “Orange.” The guy says, “Hooters.” The doctor says, “Grapefruit.” The guy says, “Jugs.” The doctor…

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Bigger Breasts at Any Cost

Once there was this woman who was, sad to say, very flat chested. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted women walking away with handsome guys finally got the best of her. She decided that she would have large tits at any cost. At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She went everywhere,…

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Signs it’s Time to Stop Breastfeeding!

10. Child can now open your blouse by himself. 9. The kid starts burping up silicone. 8. Child has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. The little one keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. Child demands that you express for his cafe latte. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each session, you both have a smoke. 3. Child invites his friends over for dinner. 2. You feel an uncontrollable…

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breast enlargements

A woman went for a breast enlargement. The doctor said, “Which kind would you like? You have two options. One is silicone which is expensive. The other is a less expensive pill, but it is still in the experimental stages. There might be side effects.” She chose the pill which was much cheaper. The doctor told her to come back in three weeks for a check-up. When she went for her return visit, the doctor said, “Those pills really worked!…

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Glad to Be a Man

I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…

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Breast Obsessed

A middle-aged man had an obsession with women’s breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem. “I am going to do a word association test, explained the doctor. I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that comes into your mind.” “Oranges,” said the doctor. “Breasts,” replied the patient. “Apples.” “Breasts.” “Watermelons.” “Breasts.” “Windshield wipers.” “Breasts,” said the patient, with the same reply. “Wait a minute! I can…

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Advantages of Breast Feeding

Michael, a pre-med student, preferred partying to studying and was not totally prepared for his mid-term exams. He stared at the last question worth 50%: NAME FOUR ADVANTAGES OF BREAST FEEDING 1. No need to buy formula. 2. Cats can’t steal it. 3. Available on demand. He was running out of time and need another advantage. Suddenly it hit him. 4. Comes in attractive containers.

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Nurse Blondie

There was a blonde nurse that worked at a nursing home. She came into the nursing home one morning with this red permanent marker in her breast pocket. The CNA said to her, “Why are you carrying around a red permanent marker in your pocket?” Then she looks at the CNA and adds: “I carry around the red pen in case I have to draw blood!”

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Pardon Me!

A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger. After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into…

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Politically Correct Terms for Men and Women

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!) She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY…

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Read JokePolitically Correct Terms for Men and Women