Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Father Joseph is walking around his school and sees little Tommy sitting in the sandpit, pouring something on to an ants nest. When the liquid hit the ants, they shriveled up, with a wisp of smoke trailing out. He approached and asked what Tommy had in his hand. “Sulphuric Acid Father,” Tommy replies. Father Joseph must do something about this and so pulls from his robes his own bottle. “How about a swap,” he says. “Dunno,” says Tommy. “What’s in…
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1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 2. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? 3. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 4. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? 5.. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? 6. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do…
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A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874 in small bills.…
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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…
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A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,that’s interesting. I’m a woman… Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left,but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of…
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1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, “That’s a nice kitty.” Drop the pill in its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp & pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cats front paws down with left hand & back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.…
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He lifts the beast up onto the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal”, he says. “I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. When he opens it, I’ll remove my genitals intact. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will agree to buy me a drink. Deal?” The crowd all…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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Bill Gates died, and went to hell. As he got there, he was welcomed by the devil himself, who said, “Welcome, we’re going to give you three choices of rooms.” The ex-billionaire agreed and Lucifer showed him the first choice. It was very decorated and had a gorgeous, and stunning woman with a bottle of wine, and also included an IBM PC, which was turned on and was Windows 98. Bill Gates didn’t even want to see the other two…
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