Blender Jokes

Rejected Dr. Suess book titles

Rejected Dr. Suess Books- 1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. The Cat in the Blender 11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out! 12. Are You My Proctologist? 13. Yentl the Lentil…

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Read JokeRejected Dr. Suess book titles

Men are like…..

For you ladies (and men so you’re prepared), a little MEN ARE LIKE humor: MEN ARE LIKE… Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. MEN ARE LIKE… Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. MEN ARE LIKE… Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why. MEN ARE LIKE… Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. MEN ARE…

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A Woman Is What She Drinks

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…

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Formulae for a Happy Marriage

1. My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food… She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. ” —————– 2. I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said, “Some where I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?” —————– 3. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker.…

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Read JokeFormulae for a Happy Marriage