Birthday boy Jokes

Birthday Boy

The son of a farmer had just turned 18, and for his birthday, the farmer gave him some cash and said, “Now son, I want you to go to the city and have yourself some fun.” The son gladly took the money and took off to the city. After a few hours he returned very happy. Noticing this, the farmer asked, “How was it, son? Did you get some?” The son replied, “Yeah dad, look at all the things I…

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ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Read Jokeya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yo mama

YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…

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Good advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…

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Miracle

A preacher buys his son a toy airplane for his birthday. They put the plane together and took it out for a test fly. The little boy threw the plane up, it hit the ground, and was smashed into little pieces. The little boy turned to his father with a face of red and says, “I’ll be damned!” His father, being a preacher says, “Son, don’t curse, when things go wrong, say Jesus”. So the little boy took his father’s…

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Snappy Replies

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help. Job Applicant: That’s all right.…

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Success Through Ebonics II

Once again Leroy was asked to do a simple homework assignment. Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here’s what he handed in: 1. HONOR ROLL – We was playin’ poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL. 2. PLANET – I got me some seed to grow weed, so I PLANET in the backyard. 3. DEFENSE – I ran from…

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Just a head

There is a father who is very proud of his son because he is turning 21. There is only one thing wrong. The son is just a head. No torso, no arms, no legs, just a head. His father brings his son to a bar on the night of his 21st birthday. The father is just gleaming with pride and so he orders a beer for his son. His son drinks up, and poof, magically he has arms. The father,…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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What Men Really Mean

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…

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