Bells Jokes - page 2

Why we fly

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…

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Three Nuns Go To Heaven

Once upon a time three nuns died and went to heaven. It was very bright and beautiful. They met St. Peter at the front gate. He said, “The only way you can get into heaven is if you answer three questions. One question for each of you.” The three nuns agreed. St. Peter began to the first nun, “What was the Immaculate conception?” “Why, it’s Mary being told that Jesus was going to be born, St. Peter,” said the first…

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Bishop & the Bellringers

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided to conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills (or lack thereof), he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer’s job. The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” “No matter,”…

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Mix

*Why do Bees hum? Because they don’t know the words. *Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. *What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A Woolly Jumper. *Why do birds fly south in autumn? Because it is too far to walk. *What is yellow and very dangerous? Sharkinfested custard. *What has an eye and doesn’t cry? A needle. * When does Thursday come before Wednesday? In a dictionary. *What has wings and…

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