Beautiful son Jokes - page 2

God travels to Earth

One day God decided to take a trip to Earth, and as he was traveling, He come up to a man who was crying. “My son, why are you crying?” The Lord asked. “Well,” the man sobs, “I was born blind and I have never been able to see the beautiful sunset.” So the Lord heals him and he able to see and the man is happy. Then God travels a little further and notices another man crying. “My son…

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Vacation

A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” the man replies. “TWA?!” yells Joe. “They’re a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight…

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The Golden Screw

The parents of a newborn son were devastated to learn that their baby was born with a golden screw in his navel. Surgeons had never seen this before, and fearing it would harm the boy, refused to operate. The parents were very religious and accepted the birth defect as God’s will. The mother never gave up faith, and as her son grew up she prayed daily for God to cure him. The boy was very shy, always hiding his golden-screw…

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The Recovered Sofa

Maybe you can assist me with a problem which I’m having with a friend. She owns a used furniture store, and a few weeks ago the store was burglarized. The only thing taken was a big, beautiful, high-back fabric sofa, valued at over $1,000. My friend was devastated, as it was the finest used item in the entire store. Police speculate that it was the only item stolen, simply because the thieves were not able to carry anything else out…

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The 3 Perfect People

One day, not tooooo long ago, Hercules, Sleeping Beauty, and Wilt Chamberlain were arguing with each other on a riverbank. Hercules said he was the perfect person because he was the stongest on earth. Sleeping Beauty said she was because she was the most beautiful. Wilt said he was because he slept with the most women. So the 3 go to some Guru to ask who the perfect person was. Hercules said, “Ha! He said no one is perfect, but…

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Bull Auction

A couple takes advantage of a beautiful Sunday afternoon to attend an auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.” The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!” The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.” Again, the wife bugs her…

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After the Whitehouse

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is William Jefferson Clinton and I’m the President of the United States. And right now I’m going trough some minor legal problems that you may or may not have heard about, and these legal problems are probably going to force me out of office sooner or later and that got me thinking the other day. When I’m out of office I’m going to need some sort of steady income to support my family,…

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Valley of the Twids

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful valley, where the grass grew green and the people were happy. A river flowed through the center of this valley, providing life and water to all who needed it. Also in this valley lived the Twids. The Twids were friendly people, but they were very small. In fact, Twids were about the height of an average person’s knees. Anyway, these twids lived happily and in harmony with the world around them. On…

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Women are from Venus?

Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…

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The truth according to God

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He inquired of God, “Where were you?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look son, look what I’ve made”. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” God replied, “It’s a planet and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’ve named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on…

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